i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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