he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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