I just pynch a tree in the face
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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