u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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