mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
