I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
