she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
