I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
