Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize