Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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