he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
