I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
and you fell through a lawn chair
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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