You made me cry and you don't even care
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
