I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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