He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
