I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
