dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
