It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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