what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
