my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
