watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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