marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
