He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
