? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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