I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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