Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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