Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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