considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
