In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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