saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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