i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
