I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
