I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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