my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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