I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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