Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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