I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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