And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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