you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
