Can i not drive my cunt home
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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