She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
