I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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