I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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