Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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