i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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