She's JV to your varsity
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
