At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
