Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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