his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I want her autograph on my taint
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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