Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
