I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
