? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
