Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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