I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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