you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
