he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i barfeds in our rink
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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