So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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