she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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