i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
