I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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