Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
