I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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