Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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