when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
