it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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