I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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